Low self esteem has played a huge role in my character development and who I have become… for a certain proportion of my life so far I have not felt “good enough”, infact, it was not about being “good”, but I never felt like I was “enough”… be that “strong enough”, “caring enough”, clever enough”, “pretty enough”, “giving enough”, “funny enough”, “fast enough”, the list is endless and so I created the habit & desire to be more than I was. With that, came continuous education & re-education striving to become more knowledgeable, training for long hours to work harder and be better than I was yesterday, long working hours as I never felt like I had done “enough” until I went to bed exhausted, and perpetually living in a state of non-contentment with who I was and who I am.

“Invest in yourself” was a piece of advice given to me by a teacher more than 10 years ago, little did he or I truly recognise, that in my own way I already was, travelling half the way around the world to learn from him to further my movement arts skills, at the time I was already following my goals, investing in my own self development. At that point it was for more selfish reasons, because whilst I loved doing training & learning, it gave me a reason to travel the world but I also NEEDED to do it to feel like I was “Enough”.

Since, I have recognised that I am happiest when I am investing in myself. I’m not talking about investing financially (though much of my training and education has had a financial cost), I am talking about putting the effort & time into feeling truly alive when I am learning, when I am deepening my understanding, when I am questioning beliefs & working towards dreams. For my years since school, life has been about investing, from University, to personal training qualifications and hiring personal trainers to work on me, to sports massage therapy, to Movement arts, to Karate, to Co-active Coaching, to various forms of group exercise (Yoga, Running Training, Indoor Cycling, Budokon, Body Balance, FlyBarre), to training as a corrective exercise specialist, to becoming Pre & Post-Natal certified, to becoming an IRONMAN coach, to Breathing & Digestion education with Keith Littlewood, to a Movement & Mind Mentorship with Karin Locher, & to my next investment… MNU Nutrition. Will it end? Hopefully not, & I very much doubt it.  I already have a few more investments on my list of “to-do’s” and I’m grateful to the youth of low confidence for conditioning me in this way, for pushing me to strive for something more.  I now recognise, that my “weakness” is becoming a strength, has given me a habit, drive & a skill set of self-development over the years. If I could go back to the beginning I would choose the same path as without this driving force I question whether I would have put the same work in & followed my dreams as fiercely and with the same adherence. If I was to offer the younger me or the millennials some advice… it would be to INVEST in You, continually searching for ways to develop & grow who you are, SUPPORT and encourage others to do the same and SURROUND yourself with those are growing themselves &… ENJOY the process of striving to be better than yesterday.